Citizen 16

Despite being unemployed for the whole of July, it has been a terrible month for productivity. Days seem to have been lost in a daze of applying for jobs, watching westerns, playing Final Fantasy XIII and browsing the Internet in my pants. Luckily my new Productivity Plan for August (step 1: write more) should mean a better month for content. I’ve also largely forgotten to make a note of any links this month, so here’s a condensed edition for your perusal.

Words

• Best news story of the month award goes to CNN for “Mexican Police Arrest Man Hiding 18 Monkeys Under Clothes at Airport.”
• Boing Boing publishes a lovely story about Simon Parkin’s personal relationship with JRPGs over the years.
• Quintin Smith’s tale of his hunt for the Citizen Kane of games is turning out to be quite the thing.
• I never imagined there could be anything interesting about a website I’ve never heard of reviewing an office chair. It turns out, when that website’s owner is completely insane, I was wrong.

Pictures

• All my friends are dead. Darkly charming.
• If you didn’t understand the plot of Inception then this infographic probably won’t help. It looks spiffy, though. [via Pentadact]

Videos

• Markets of Britain, a film from the creators of Look Around You.

• Quinn’s article reminded me of this, which I criminally forgot to include last month. Citizen Kane: The Remake: The Trailer. [via Chris Remo]

• Finally, here’s some stunning time-lapse photography of Red Dead Redemption’s vistas.

Holy shit! Only forty minutes to collect together a bunch of neat links from the past 30 days and arrange them in a new and easier to pick through format before the month is over! Can I manage it? Well, yes because even if I don’t I’ll just change the publish time and pretend that I did. Ah, deadlines: they only exist for the people who are paid for this sort of thing.

Words:

• News outlets had a great month. Seriously, any month in which you can run a story about a student throwing a puppy at a bunch of German Hell’s Angels has got to be a top month for journalists.
• Similarly, here we have a contender for Headline of The Year.
• And then John Walker linked to this Guardian reporters heroic efforts at live blogging the endless Isner-Mahut Wimbledon match. Yeah, I know, Wimbledon – but don’t run away, this is top stuff. A sample:

7pm: The umpire climbs down from his chair and starts mildly slapping the net cord with his right hand. No one knows why. John Isner winds up for a backhand and misses the ball entirely. No one knows why.

What’s going on here? Once, long ago, I think that this was a tennis match. I believe it was part of a wider tennis tournament, somewhere in south-west London, and the winner of this match would then go on to face the winner of another match and, if he won that, the winner of another match. And so on until he reached the final and, fingers crossed, he won the title.

That, at least, is what this spectacle on Court 18 used to be; what it started out as. It’s not that anymore and hasn’t been for a few hours now. I’m not quite sure what it is, but it is long and it’s horrifying and it’s very long to boot. Is it death? I think it might be death.

• Okay, so one news outlet didn’t have a great month. Would you be surprised to hear that it was the Daily Mail?
• Has apocalyptic fiction killed off the enthusiasm and excitement that we used to feel for the future? Jim Rossignol explores the issue.
• “At some point around the 22nd hour without sleep – as I forced myself to play Hannah Montana: The Movie: The Game whether I liked it or not – I asked myself, ‘How did it come to this?’”
• Three reasons why we buy those crazy Steam bundles. Pretty apt considering that Steam is pretty much all crazy bundles this week.
• An interesting take on the story of Red Dead Redemption. Contains massive spoilers for the ending of the game, just so you know.

Pictures:

• Illustrations of those things you’re just left to figure out on your own.
• Ultra Culture linked to the Jeff Bridges website. Why? Because it’s full of brilliant hand drawn illustrations of the films he’s starred in!

Sounds:

• This is what the Sun sounds like. A sci-fi movie, as it turns out.

Videos:

• Violinist plays Super Mario Bros live to Super Mario Bros. Bloody hell!

• Live performance of the final song in Plants vs. Zombies by its composer.

• Another piece linked by John Walker: Dan Telfer delivers the best audience solicited stand-up routine about dinosaurs you’ll ever see.

• And finally… I nearly didn’t bother with this, but what the hell. Baby sloths are cute as fuck.

Generally I attempt to keep gaming news from dominating these posts. This month I failed. Oh well, maybe this gaming info-splurge will distract everyone from the fact that I only added one post to City 16 this month. I have failed you all.

• Ed McMillen writes a couple of articles for GameSetWatch dealing with difficulty and risk/reward and how he’s built on lessons from old-school platformers in the creation of his upcoming Super Meatboy.
• Charlie Brooker writes about the pressures of live TV after his appearance on Channel 4′s Alternative Election Night coverage. He may have pissed himself. A little.
• Memo: This is now the best trailer. Please update your mental databases.
• Tom Jubert [Ir/Rational, Penumbra] has started a new blog, Plot Is Gameplay’s Bitch. There’s a cornucopia of worthwhile articles already posted but here he is on a writing project that he “screwed up.”
• It must be hugely frustrating for those game journalists whose day to day activities involve posting endless rumours and press releases. It can make a man go a bit funny.
• So, predictably, the Lost ending sparked a lot of posts this month. Coren linked to Kotaku’s gallery of Lost as a Lucas Arts adventure. Richard Cobbett’s been promoting Lost: The Board Game. Also, here’s an interactive picture revealing the fate of each character. Key point: Lost was fucking ridiculous.
• A couple from The Brainy Gamer: The problems with Metacritic, which is a point often discussed in games writing but always worth keeping in mind, and a racist shopkeeper in Red Dead Redemption. Mmm… Emergent.
• You don’t have to do what your mum says anymore because it’s Independint Charles Show. Until she comes back home.
• Webcomic: The alt-text to this A Softer World comic crippled me with laughter. I need therapy.
• This one’s for Eamonn.
• There’s a new Scott Pilgrim trailer! Here it is, along with Ultra Culture’s definitive guide to why it’s brills.

Next month: I do better.

Best do this now as tomorrow I head to the deepest, darkest countryside with little to no Internet access. In 24-terms I’m ‘going dark’.

• Tom Francis writes about one of the UK’s more bizarre voting quirks, the worry over casting a wasted vote, and the more sensible alternative: vote for the candidate you’d want to win. “In a sense, you see yourself as everyone, and act as you would want society to act. You’re having tea with Immanuel Kant later and the two of you are going to get along famously.”Over to American politics.
• Here’s 200 pictures of anti-Obama merchandise sold during the healthcare reform debate. Expect hammers. And sickles.
• Two from MathFail.com. Time travelling courtesy and a cast-iron relationship equation.
• Patrick Jean’s Pixels is an excellent short film. Also, it’s viewable in 1080p. Mmmm, crisp.
• Chris Livingston, of Living In Oblivion and Concerned fame, started a new site, The First Person Observer, of news stories told from an in-game perspective. Kind of like the videogaming Onion, only not as shit as that sounds. Here’s a Left 4 Dead based example.
• Some great stories are coming out of Jason Rohrer’s new game Sleep Is Death. Here’s one involving Rohrer and Shannon Galvin, Spore artist. [via RPS]
• You saw this right? Iranian cleric claims women are responsible for earthquakes. Damn you, women.
• How to get banned from Xbox Live for 7989 years. [via Tom Francis' Twitter feed... I think. I need to do a better job of tracking the sources for these things.]
• Awesome water billboard. [via Chewing Pixels]
• I’m definitely not dead, from the aptly titled Hyperbole and a Half. [also via Chewing Pixels]
• Finally, and most importantly, when growing a beard always keep in mind how trustworthy it is. [via Information Is Beautiful]

More next month, unless post-flood Cockermouth has turned into the Lake District version of Deliverance.

It’s something of a bumper edition this month. In fact it was so big that I missed the deadline for posting this because I was busy sorting through all the bloody links I’d saved. Not to worry! With WordPress’ publishing options I can send this post back in time to forever rest nestled amidst the glory of March.

• Comic writer Jhonen Vasquez has spent the month dishing out true facts about the creation of his cult Nickelodeon cartoon Invader Zim There’s too much contained in the 31 epic posts to condense into one pithy remark, so here’s a segment cut completely at random:

I cleared my throat, and as best I could I asked the man in song “BOOPA DOOPA BOOBY SHMOOP.  BEEDLEDEEBOOBOOP.”

• I’ll get round to posting about the Scott Pilgrim vs. The World trailer at some point, but also released this month was some artwork from the upcoming Scott Pilgrim video game.
• The numbers! They don’t stop!
• For a while I’ve been wondering about the weird orange and teal hue permeating modern blockbuster movies. Todd Miro explains what it’s about and why it should just fucking stop. Now.
• This.
• Michael Buble Being Stalked By A Velociraptor. Website names are rarely as self-explanatory as this.
• Well, except maybe this one: http://badpaintingsofbarackobama.com/
• Tomorrow Corporation is pleased to announce the existence of Tomorrow Corporation, a massive new “indie game” studio developing a new indie game using authentic indie labor.
• Charlie Brooker v Man v Food
• The Bulletin, Philadelphia’s family newspaper (apparently) is worried about Satanic themes in gaming. I’m surprised they only included Bayonetta as an ‘also-ran’. That game ended with you kicking God into the motherfucking sun…
• The trade print of the second series of Phonogram seems to have been released. Here’s series author, Kieron Gillen, in what he describes as his ‘Lou Reed’ interview.
• I meant to post about the Merton/Ben Folds Chatroulette thing. Typically I forgot about it. Luckily John Walker didn’t and has embedded all the necessary videos here.
• Here’s something about the Alan Titchmarsh thing. It differs from the post I wrote in that it isn’t retarded.
• Last year the Fuck Buttons got all of the critical attention, at least among the sort of places that cover that sort of warped electronic music. Less hyped were the excellent Three Trapped Tigers. Drowned in Sound rectify this by posting an entire live set by them.
• Webcomic of the month…
• …And a couple more from A Softer World. This and This.
• Another month, another Rock, Paper, Shotgun game diary for a strategy game that involves as much out of game treachery as it does in game investment. This one features some of PC Gamer’s writers too, including the ever-brilliant Tom Francis.
• Alien Versus Pooh.
• A children’s choir singing Portal’s Still Alive.
• Some of the music to the upcoming Sonic game was leaked this month, although it seems to have been removed by Sega. Here’s the one remaining track I can find. It’s alright, but it’s not this. Or this. Or this…
• …It’s definitely not this.
• I… I think I’m going to need a minute.
• Heavy Rain is great and so, if you don’t own a PS3, you might be feeling a little left out. Worry not! Some PC games are at hand to help recreate key gameplay moments. Play Press X To Jason and Lots O’ Rain to find out what all the fuss is about.

Thank heavens for the regular feature. With it I’ve made an underwhelming 3 posts this month instead of a disastrous 2. Must try harder [D+]. Here’s the months interesting Internet happenings:

• May as well start with the best thing of the month – Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly interviewing Comedy Central’s Jon Stewart. Both come across well and I’d imagine your thoughts on who comes out on top will depend on your political opinion but it’s still fascinating to see the two men sparring on various media and political issues.
• I recently wrote about just how much of an improvement Assassin’s Creed 2 was over the original. To be honest I could write a similar piece on any number of sequels I’ve played recently but, fortunately, the modestly titled site The Brainy Gamer has listed some of the common factors that make these sequels so good.
• Most URL redirection sites make your URLs shorter. ShadyURL makes them, well, shadier. [via Boing, Boing]
• If you’ve not played the Half-Life 2 mod Dear Esther then you should first do that. Then have a look at the screens of Robert Briscoe’s planned remake. It’s amazing that the Source engine is even capable of that stuff. [via RPS]
• Drowned In Sound post an article from Olugbenga Adelekan about the reasons for, and the problems with, the genre classification ‘World Music’.
• Charlie Brooker on ebooks. As usual he manages to present an argument that few have really imagined.
• Dragons are real. Also tiny.
• Steve Gaynor, level designer for Bioshock 2, gives a rundown of some of the easter eggs he hid within levels of the game. Hot scoops!
• PC Gamer writer Tom Francis on the security considerations that must be tackled when visiting the US embassy.
• Another month in links, another article by Quintin Smith on a strategy game that is primarily played by being a jerk to your friends. This one, Neptune’s Pride, is a free browser game so I might, for once, try and get some people together to play a game.
• Webcomics! I think most people have given up using Google Buzz, instead letting it automatically collect Tweets, shared items and posts from other social media sites. Still, as this comic shows, it does have some use.
• More Webcomics! What came first, the chicken or the egg? For years I’ve been saying this isn’t some deep philosophical conundrum but, instead, a fairly simple evolutionary argument. I am vindicated!

SHOCK UPDATE!

• A development blog for The Witness, the next game by Braid creator Jonathon Blow, has just gone live. The first post reveals some concept art for the title, not due until late 2011.

I should really be filling out a job application. The closing date’s today and I’ve not even looked at the application form. Instead I’m throwing up a list of articles from around the internet that caught my eye this month. Priorities!

• Technically 2009, but it wasn’t posted until this month. Phonogram writer Kieron Gillen posted his tracks of 2009 on his blog. Lots that I disagree with, but it remains an interesting look into the state of music last year. Plus I’m entirely with him on his #1 choice.
• While we’re with Gillen he, along with Quinns and four other players, chronicled a game of indie title Solium Infernum. The articles are collected here, and make up one of the best game diary series of recent years. It sounds like the sort of game I’d love to get a group of people playing, but know I never will.
• James Cameron states that the character Grace from Avatar is “a negative comment about people in our real world living too much in their avatars, meaning online and in video games.” Apparently the message wasn’t overt enough for the fans struggling to cope with not living in the world of Pandora.
• In other “oh, just fuck off” news, a trailer for the new A-Team film. Oh, just fuck off.
• Headlines this good are genuinely once-in-a-lifetime.
• Some insight into gender differences by utilising Google search suggestions. The high ranking of ‘how can I get my girlfriend to shave’ still gives me a chuckle.
• BLDGBLOG explores what really made the original Die Hard such a great film by comparing it to the Israeli Defence Force’s invasion of Nablus and the unconventional use of space and architecture.
• Did aliens help to line up Woolworths stores? Ben Goldacre highlights a stunning piece of scientific facetiousness.
• God hates shrimp. Some excellent counter-protest pictures.
• OK Go explain why their latest video isn’t available for embedding. Unsurprisingly it all comes down to record labels that still haven’t come to terms with the internet. [Via: Boing Boing]
• Politicians talking about games. No wait, this time in a good way.
• I’d never heard of Stuart Ashen before but, from this evidence of this first episode of Ashen’s Tech Dump for BBC’s Comedy blog, I should really start paying attention.
• And, finally, bubble wrap has turned 50. Happy Birthday Bubblewrap!

UPDATE: So I completely forgot to look in one of the folders I’d saved links in. Normally I’d chalk it up to experience, but then you’d miss out on these two:

• The Guardian reports the genuinely worrying story of a man arrested under the 2000 Terrorism Act for making a joke about blowing up an airport on Twitter. I’d imagine the only person reading that’s not disturbed by this will be Adam, who will think the guy deserved it for using Twitter.
• I was going to link to an article prieviewing the World Beard and Moustache Championships but the website covering it seems to have less functionality than the RSS feed. I’ll just link to the Championship website directly. Warning: Beards.

My need to introduce them to my flatmate recently led me to re-watching The Day Today and Brass Eye. It was good to hear, shortly after working through the series, that Chris Morris’ comedy film about Islamic Jihadists (something I’d heard about years ago) is finally approaching a release.

It was even better, today, to finally see a clip of it.

via Edgar Wright’s Twitter feed

While Britain gets a seemingly endless parade of street dancers (although I was quite glad when George Sampson won because it meant he stopped clogging up Market Street on a regular basis) and a woman who can miraculously sing while being ugly, the Ukraine strand of the Got Talent franchise has produced a winner who actually has… well, talent.

Via Rock, Paper, Shotgun (again).

Don’t worry I’m not about to do one of those terribly lazy posts in which I rehash some of the stuff I’ve posted on Twitter over the last few months. Instead I’m doing a terribly lazy post in which I rehash some of the stuff other people have posted on Twitter over the last few months, which I have gone on to favourite.

charltonbrooker: RT @mccandelish: i like force-quitting Excel on purpose. Not because it’s hung. Because I hate it. It’s like giving an application a smack.

botherer: Is there anything worse than doing an excellent giant poo, and then turning around to see it’s disappeared down the hole? No, there isn’t.

Pentadact: Man fights no more direct or desperate struggle with the forces of raw entropy than when fitting a duvet cover.

PC_Gamer: Damnit! I looked away and he moved. Mark Rein is loose and full of buffet! Flee!

fpshouter: Thought about doing a HL2 text adventure a while ago. “You are in City 17. G-Man is here.” >Talk to G-Man. “G-Man is not here.”

JhonenV: Is this giant Patrick from spongebob hitting on me?? Maybe one of his catchphrases is “I gonna fuck you in your sleep, woman.” Probably.

Batsphinx: RT @FarmersWeekly: This has to be one of the slowest news days for farming ever.

bremxjones: Nazi Flash: The Fascist Man Alive #illadvisedcomicreboots

bonzrat: The Credible Hulk: he makes a really rather convincing argument for smashing everything. #illadvisedcomicreboots